This is the book I wish I'd written!

Hi -
I just purchased four copies of your book for families working with our agency.

I've been working with families to help them prepare their Dear Birthparent albums for about five years, and I have always struggled to help them "get it." Some of them do and some of them don't. We spend time on the albums during our adoptive parent training, and I prepared some handouts for them, which wound up looking sort of like an outline of your book! I always thought, "Someday I'll turn this into a book so people will have more to take home with them to help them remember. I was so happy when I found your book! It is exactly what our families have needed. The most important thing is not what colors they choose, which pictures they include, whether the style of the

Here are some nice things
people have said about

"Clear, concise, lots of good examples, all told with humor and the experience of someone who's been that, done that.

A stellar book!"

-Roberta Rosenberg, Owner, AdoptShoppe.com, and adoptive mom.

 

book is casual or formal or child-like - although those things may influence which birth parent chooses a particular family. Adoptive parents often spend a lot of time thinking there is some secret something that birth parents are looking for and trying to figure out what it is. You have disclosed birth parents' secret heart desire: They are looking for genuineness. Your book has become our standard text for families. I can spend a lot less time on album preparation during our class because I can hand prospective adoptive parents your book. Thank you so much!

Sue Thoroughman, MA
Heritage Adoption Services, Inc


I just wanted to let you how wonderful your book is,

...and how much it helped us (I am sure you get this all the time). The actual act of writing our letter had us completely panicked. We live in Los Angeles.....actually in South LA even worse:=) We didn't know how we would put a positive spin on that fact. We have 9 animals (I am a vet), and we both work (oh, God say it isn't so), and we love the city (heathens!). Also, we were just nauseas from the letters we had read on the internet that seemed so fake. how the heck would we write one of those? When we first received the book we planned to take about a month to write our letter. Then after writing the first, very rough, free form draft....our agency called and said they needed our album/letter immediately to show to a potential birthmom. We had to get our letter finished and put our album together in 24 hours. WE COULD NEVER HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOUR BOOK, and of course the 2am staff at Kinkos in Culver City.
Fast forward 1 month. We have been matched with a baby girl due 12/19. Everyone that has seen our album has absolutely loved it. Our birthmom took it home with her to show her family, our caseworkers have called us to tell us how great it is, our homestudy social worker started crying when she read it.....and thanks to you it was 100% us.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Monique Rosario


I couldn't put it down.

My wife and I have recently considered adoption and purchased the "Reaching Out the guide to writing a terrific Dear Birthmother Letter". I couldn't sleep last night and decided to begin reading the book at about 2:30 am. I couldn't put it down. Three hours later I finished. My wife was quite surprised this morning when she found out that I had shown such eagerness to begin our adoption process. She will also be reading the book and then we will begin what is now the exciting task of writing our Dear Birthmother Letter.
Thanks so much for a great book!!!

Andrew Scott


Thank you. I must have read through it 3 times last night.

It is the most insightful, enjoyable and helpful collection of information that I have read pertaining to open adoption. Thanks again for putting together such a wonderful book of suggestions, easy to follow guidelines and for sharing your personal experience.

Sincerely,

Terry Schmitz


As soon as we received it, we both read your book and loved it.

Although, at the time, we felt so overwhelmed by the task that we kept putting it off ...On September 3rd I received a phone message from a friend of mine that had heard about a birth mom who was 8 months pregnant and looking for a couple to adopt her baby. She had gotten the call because her and her husband had been looking to adopt but were already planning to adopt a 7yr old boy from Russia so they were not interested. Well, it is a long amazing story but the part that I wanted to share with you was how much your book impacted me. I stayed up the very night I got the phone call and for the next four hours our dear birth mother letter just poured out of me. I selected pictures and everything and by 4am it was basically done. After several rounds of edits and inserting photos we submitted our letter to the birth mom's attorney that next week and we met her on September 15th. Later that evening we got the call that she wanted us to adopt her baby (girl!) and she delivered on September 25th. During the meeting with her and her dad they both commented on how much they were impacted by the letter that we had written. The aspect of your book that we appreciated the most was the heart behind it and the focus on not just writing a letter so that the birth mom would "choose" us but sharing our hearts and helping her to get to know us so that she could make the right choice.

You've come to mind several times in this past year and I've wanted to get in touch and thank you personally for writing your book and sharing your expertise and experience with those of us who really need it.

With gratitude,

Joyce (and Billy) Bedard, New Hampshire



Just wanted to confirm that we were able to download your wonderful book with no problems, complete transaction was as effortless as you had suggested.


I found 'Reaching Out' just by chance with a quick Google search and came right to dearbirthmother.com. After seeing 100% reviews on Amazon I had no further hesitance and went ahead. Your work, insight and research are going to be truly valuable to our next chapter in the Adoption Process and would like to thank you for taking the time to document your findings! Best Regards

Andrew Gurney & Sharon Aris



Fantastic Help writing your Birthmother Letter.


This book is great! It is easy to read and filled with lots of examples and HEART. It helps you choose the content, style, and structure that works best for you. It continually gives you the encouragement to be yourself(s) when writing your letter and to understand important things about birthparent's mindset.


Before we (my husband & I) got this book, we had struggled to write our Dear Birthmother Letter. Once we got this book, we were able to write our letter relatively quickly. Most importantly, we are happy with the result. Our letter is full of life and love. Our friends and families continually comment that our personalities and our lives are vibrantly conveyed in our letter.

Writing a Dear Birthmother Letter is a difficult step in the adoption process. Using this book with make this step easier and more effective towards making a connection with a birthmother.

Rhonda Vinton from Los Angeles, CA USA



My Clients Love You.


I have to thank you for writing such a great book! I have handed out two copies of your book so far, and both clients give you rave reviews. One couple was so freaked out about the adoption process and about 'advertising' for a baby that they were ready to give up before starting. Your book helped calm them down and started them thinking about adoption in a positive light. They found particular comfort in the "Be the Solution" section, which helped them to think of themselves as assisting a women with her unplanned pregnancy rather than as buying a baby.

The other couple was paralyzed by the overwhelming task of drafting the letter. It took me five phone calls just to get them to read your book. They were hooked before they finished the first page of the Introduction. Now I have to get them to stop rewriting their letter and let me send it out, but that's another issue.

I'm so glad I'm able to provide my clients with such a helpful resource. I now include your book as part of the initial packet I send out to clients.

Sheri Cohen
Attorney-at-Law


Witty, practical, warm, and honest.


Anyone who is daunted by the task of writing a Dear Birthmother letter should read this book. Recommended by a friend, I picked it up and couldn't put it down. I found it witty, practical, warm and honest. Loved it. My husband is now reading it and laughs out loud. What seemed an overwhelming task now looks like fun. Here's to the journey..."

Jennifer Cowie King from Altadena, CA



I appreciate your help with this and for writing the book in the first place. My husband and I are at the very beginning of the adoption process (the "are we both ready for this?" stage), but what little I've read of your book has already helped me to reconceptualize the whole thing, to make sense of this road that we're on. Thanks again,

Anna Harlan


Mr. Handel,

I just wanted to drop you a quick line and tell you I found your "Dear Birthmother" book so informative and helpful. I consider myself a pretty fair writer, but the task seemed daunting to me and my husband, even though I'm also a birthmother. Your book was a lifesaver; it really helped me to create a clear, sincere letter that also showed who we were.

In a sea of scrapbooked masterpieces, it was so nice to read that we didn't have to go overboard with cute decor and professional printing, that it was our personalities that needed to shine through.

Thanks again for this helpful resource.

Coco46 from the Networking Discussion Board at Adoption.com


Invaluable information!

I recently purchased your book... I only wish I'd had it the first time around. I read it cover to cover and am now deep in the process of writing/rewriting our "Dear Birthmother" letter.

Thank you so much for your time, and your fabulous book!

Julie Win



Laurie and I received your book,and just finished reading it. What a wonderful creation you have!! We thoroughly enjoyed it, and made appropriate updates to our letter, which we feel really gives it the final polishing. Thank you so much!!!!

Adoptingly yours,

Paul Modean



Really helpful and easy to read!

Your book will be a big help in rewriting our resume. I wrote our original one for [our lawyer] a year ago and I had forgotten how stressful it can be! I appreciate your philosophy of being casual and yourself. I think you will be a great help to many people. Thank you for sharing your experience and the best of wishes to you.

Timberly MacLeod



Dear Mr Handel,

I purchased your book in late 2007 when we decided to pursue a domestic adoption while we wait for our China adoption.  Your book was such a wonderful resource!  Having no clue what to write, or how to write a birth mother letter, I found your book incredibly helpful!  In fact, the second birth mother who looked at our profile chose us to adopt her son---he is due next week.  We are so happy, and wanted to thank you for writing your book and sharing your experience so that others families can be blessed with a family through adoption.

Regards,

Linda Cullen